Monday, May 2, 2011

Creative Outlet Needed

A couple events have happend in the last couple months that have made me realize that I need an outlet for my thoughts and creative spirit.  I don't paint, I don't draw, rather,  when I really need to express myself I write. I had forgotten that and have been restless and anxious for an outlet without realizing from where my anxious, restless feeling was coming.  As many of you know, and are priviledged to be a part of, Dr. Tee has a gathering of women every year at the Winter Solstice to share a piece of writing or some other medium that has to deal with light.  Every year I look up quotes about light, but this past solstice it wasn't enough.  I had to soul was tired of being without a place to let itself out. Still after I wrote the piece below (it came pouring out of me in minutes), I ignored it.  I was recently at a baby shower that was in an amazing space at Women Writing for (a) Change, the space and women within it were shouting at me "you need to write...why aren't you allowing yourself a space?!? who cares how someone might read what you say??" Finally enough is enough, whether anyone reads what I write, I need it. It is my way of expressing all that is me.

Light and the Fellowship with Women (Winter Solstice 2010)
I’ve been looking forward to this evening for the last couple weeks.  Each year, I know that if Tee is in the area, she will have a gathering of women to celebrate the return of the light. Each year I know that no matter who shows up or what they have to say, I will leave feeling renewed and that my soul has been fed.  Each year that we come together, I know that I will hear something I need to hear, and I might say something that someone needs to hear or that I need to hear myself say. For this reason, I decided that this year I would share my own thoughts on light.
For me light represents the positive, it represents enlightenment and illumination and it represents life and freedom. Without light, we would go through life without truly living and focusing only on the negative aspects of what this world has to offer, instead of seeing the bright potential that is within us. Without accepting who we truly are and illuminating all the dark corners of our hearts and minds no matter how scary those areas of ourselves may be, we are destined to live in a negative, dead,  caged space.  Forever struggling to find the light from the outside, instead of realizing that true happiness and peace comes from shining our lights from within. Many say life is a journey, I say life is a journey of enlightenment and illumination; discovering new parts of us hiding in the dark.
 As I have traveled through this life, there have been times when the light within me has been dim or nearly gone out completely. Times when I let what is happening on the outside work its way in and slowly, but surely allow my light to be smothered.  It is during those times that I have learned to love my female friends and relatives, for they are the ones who offer to share their light so I can make my way out of the darkness. They show me new areas of light within me  that I sometimes don’t realize are there, or sometimes don’t want to see. They do not allow me to sit in the dark and despair.  They encourage me to fan the spark, then the flame until it is a burning fire that refuses to go cold or dark .  For this I am very thankful. Women who laugh with me, who cry with me, who love me as I am without judgment who share their light freely and fully no matter how much darkness they are trying to illuminate within their own souls. For this I am forever grateful.  This is what life is about…See your light and share it with others.

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